What Do Your Grandchildren Need From You?

More than anything, your time and interest

On the road together— Ines Matamoros of Allentown (shown here with 14-year-old Ayeisha) plays many roles in the lives of her six grandchildren, including taxi driver. “They keep me young,” she says. Read more about her Healthy Traditions in the Kitchen

Enjoying new adventures— Jim Morehouse of New Tripoli teaches grandson Zachary, 11, about Newton’s Laws of Motion on a trip to Allentown’s Da Vinci Science Center.

Sharing traditions— Regina Brenner of Allentown lights a holiday menorah with grandchildren (l-r) Sara, 2, Aydele, 6, and Benjamin, 11.

It’s the season when many children get showered with gifts from Grandpa and Grandma. That can be wonderful, especially if parents are on a tight budget— but the best gifts you can give your grandchildren are the things money can’t buy, say pediatrician Elmer Long, M.D., and psychiatric clinical nurse specialist Pat Fuisz (both grandparents themselves) of Lehigh Valley Hospital and Health Network. How do the wisest grandparents nurture their little ones?

Spend time with them. Even if you can’t babysit regularly, you can enrich their lives by taking your grandchildren on a nature walk, playing games or just sitting and talking. “One - on - one time is especially valuable for children in big families,” Long says.

Be interested in their lives. Know what’s going on at school and what their activities and passions are. Read the same books they’re reading so you can discuss them. “And let your grandkids know you’re thinking of them,” says Fuisz, who uses e-mail and postcards between visits.

Love them unconditionally. “Grandparents typically don’t have the same expectations a parent might,” Long says. “When a child knows you’ll adore him even if he fails, it gives him self-esteem and the courage to try new things.”

Uphold the rules. It’s important to be “on the same page” with your grandchildren’s parents in terms of discipline, safety, approved activities and the like. “Kids like to push limits,” Fuisz says. “It’s OK to give them some extra ice cream, but essentially you need to maintain the family stability so everyone feels secure.”

Be a mentor. You have wonderful skills to teach— everything from how to knit or pitch a softball to how to behave in life. “A grandparent can be a powerful role model of values like politeness that are dying out in younger generations,” Long says.

Share family history. Children are curious to know what country their family came from, how life was before television, and what your grandparents were like. Give them a sense of their ancestry by sharing photos, stories and cherished objects.

When grandparents don’t make the effort to build a relationship with their grandchildren, Fuisz says, “they miss out on a lot.” Long agrees: “Having children in your life who love you is a major satisfaction. It’s emotionally fulfilling and helps you feel young again.”

Want to Know More Want to Know More about “saging”— sharing your wisdom with younger generations? Call 610-402-CARE. Click here for events you can enjoy with your grandchildren at the Da Vinci Science Center.

Published from Healthy You Magazine, November-December 2007

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